Limbo Land

The surgery went smoothly.  Three surgeries technically-removal of the port, lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy.  My wonderful friend Carolyn kindly picked me up before sunrise and stayed with me throughout the morning (until I was wheeled from our pre-surgery room and into surgery) and the amazing team at St. David’s made the ordeal easy and practically pleasant.  The first thing I recall upon coming to from the anesthesia, was the good news that the margins around the lump and lymph nodes were clear!

I recuperated at Carolyn’s the next few days, complete with sweet feline TLC from Reilly, Nigel and Percy and was amazed at the lack of pain from the bandaged body parts.  There was physical and mental discomfort, sure, mainly from the drainage tube, but overall I was in better shape than I’d anticipated.

Riding high on the thought of being cancer free, the ensuing post-surgery days were joyful.  I was grateful to be able to go to the long-awaited magical outdoor evening wedding of dear friends at the Umlauf Sculpture Garden.  The following morning found me at a lovely brunch for the family of the darling newlyweds…two events I was secretly afraid I’d be unable to attend.   That same day I was happy to speak via zoom to Teresa’s PMW students, about my experience with the chemo protocol, with a celebratory airing of my cancer-free status.

All of this made Monday’s phone call from my surgeon a cruel punch in the gut: the pathology was not as good as was thought in the immediacy of the surgical theater, as upon further dissection and inspection, two lymph nodes still show positive for cancer.  This news sent me into a spin and my spirits deflated like a popped balloon.

Sitting with this news over the past few days, I’m recovering my positivity, albeit slowly and not without effort.  Next week I meet with my oncologist to hear next steps, hoping it doesn’t include removing all of the lymph nodes under my left arm.  Until then I’m telling myself this layover in Limbo Land is a short one and that this too, shall pass.


Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 30, 2023 at 4:30 AM

    My dear Maurine, I have been catching up on your journey this morning from Wales where I am for a few more weeks with my partner and am sad to hear the latest findings, BUT, and it's a big but, I know how very strong of soul you are and what a positive outlook you always maintain and I know how many people care for and support you from all over the world. Gather up all that strength and energy and love and move forward through the next phase, whatever the good doctors deem is best for your recovery. Massive but gentle hugs to you and know I am cheering you on from a distance. I'll be home in a few weeks, love to you, Gail and the loving souls of BeBe, Lilah and Willow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousMay 3, 2023 at 7:39 AM

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    2. SheGoesMay 5, 2023 at 5:28 PM

      Thank you so much, GAIL!

      Delete
  2. Tricia TraegerApril 30, 2023 at 11:03 AM

    Praying this week will return you to joy as every day, every step brings you closer to freedom from limbo and worry! Love you, Moe!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 4, 2023 at 5:58 PM

    Hi Moe, been praying that your appt goes well with the oncologist this week and they have encouraging and easy news on battling those other impacted lymph nodes. - Michelle Horton

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SheGoesMay 5, 2023 at 5:27 PM

      Thank you, Michelle...they are answered prayers: no more surgery needed! Wooohooo!

      Delete

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