No, you can’t sir!

The surgery went smoothly.  Three surgeries technically-removal of the port, lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy.  My wonderful friend Carolyn kindly picked me up before sunrise and stayed with me throughout the morning (until I was wheeled from our pre-surgery room and into surgery) and the amazing team at St. David’s made the ordeal easy and practically pleasant.  The first thing I recall upon coming to from the anesthesia, was the good news that the margins around the lump and lymph nodes were clear! I recuperated at Carolyn’s the next few days, complete with sweet feline TLC from Reilly, Nigel and Percy and was amazed at the lack of pain from the bandaged body parts.  There was physical and mental discomfort, sure, mainly from the drainage tube, but overall I was in better shape than I’d anticipated. Riding high on the thought of being cancer free, the ensuing post-surgery days were joyful.  I was grateful to be able to go to the long-awaited magical outdoor...

Raw, discombobulated, hopeful, uncertain.  I've been vacillating between these states since recovering from the final chemotherapy rollercoaster ride of side effects almost three weeks ago now.  Physically I am quite good, albeit weak and slightly fragile, and mentally I am well enough, but part of me feels as if I'm waking from a long slumber and the world is slightly askew from when I knew it last.  As if this has been a strange, enduring dream and I'm waking from it with an altered worldview that has me questioning where to go from here.   I'm identifying closely with the fledgling Carolina Wren chicks I was so lucky to witness, just yesterday; their wild-eyed, open-beaked squeals, their erratic, hopping/low flying eventual progress from near the birdhouse my landlords have placed in a well-protected spot, close to the house, out to the wooded area beyond the backyard fence...quite a long and arduous journey for the little guys.  Over the course of the d...