Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Not quite yet, but it is almost time for the big haircut.  These last few days the amount of hair left on the brush has been disturbingly much, just when I was starting to believe I might be one of those lucky few who keeps her hair despite chemo (without cold capping) but I'm still ok with it...hair will regrow.  It's funny, this summer I thought of giving myself a small tonsure, to coincide with the beginning of my next level of  Jingui Golden Shield qigong that I started in July (Golden Bell/Torso) and decided not to...some things may just be too weird, even for me.  

But I'll admit:  I've often wanted to feel what it's like to have a freshly shorn head, at least once in my life.  To concretely practice the art of letting go with a part of me that although is constantly shedding and regrowing, is still such a consistent representation of the "me" with whom I so firmly identify.  I've especially loved how long my hair has grown, during the Covid Times, as I've only cut it once since 2020.  A few years ago, I stopped using harsh chemical dyes to give my hair the lustrous red coloring I've grown to love since my twenties (I was born tow-headed) and was not altogether unsatisfied with the grey-blonde blend that was growing in.  However, last winter I started using henna to bring back some reddish coloring, as this hue still holds weight for me in who I believe I am (a sassy, Irish ginger, thank-you-very-much) but for now, must let this go too.

My dear friend Judy, who sadly lost a daughter to cancer just a few years ago, has given me some beautiful wigs and head coverings that will come in handy here very soon, just in time for winter.  I will wear them proudly and with respect, think of our late friend Tammy, and send out prayers of honor, love and gratitude for those who've lived fully, loved completely and died gracefully.  Not that I am dying here (any more than any of us are, moment to moment) but I am working hard on living as well as I am able, every moment and truly experiencing life in all its glory.   

That means embracing the bald girl that will soon emerge, chick-like and new, into this next chapter of my little life.